An Enlightening Encounter
by RiverCity
Summary: A chance meeting in the park leads to a surprising revelation. Ric and Alexis


**An Enlightening Encounter**  
  
Ric took a deep breath and released it slowly. Leaning back against the park bench he rested his arms along its back and let his head lay back. A host of clouds meandered across the sky shifting and crowding each other sociably; a masterpiece of exquisite scenic movement bereft of the chaos and uncertainty of the world below. 'If only people could live so unrestricted and affably.' He grinned wryly at the absurdity of his thoughts.  
  
Watching a moment more his musings reluctantly shifted from the panorama before him and again settled on the woman who now occupied most of his waking thoughts. Leaving her only moments before at the courthouse, he was still trying to recover from their unusually tense and inflamed verbal exchange. Their disagreement began as usual, two attorneys simply arguing the merits of a case. And as was their way, it eventually became a barrage of personal insults thrown carelessly at each other oblivious to the damage they were causing. But this time when neither of them could get the upper hand in the exchange, the simple back and forth volley turned malicious. They attacked each other's most personal and intimate fears. And Ric could not hide from the fact that it was his fault that everything got out of hand.  
  
She stood strong and defiant taking every insult that he threw at her. When she began to retaliate with precise measured accuracy, it angered him so much that he finally sank lower than he thought himself capable. He attacked her abilities as a single mother. Never would he forget the horrified look that fell on her face. Even now seeing it again in his mind, he felt nauseous... sick inside. Leaning forward he dropped his head into his hands and groaned at the agony that was piercing his soul. Something was happening to him. He was no longer finding enjoyment in baiting her. Now it was a matter of seeing just how far he could push her. Something in him couldn't stop pushing her... couldn't stop attacking her every time she came within shouting distance. And he suddenly realized he wanted to... desperately. Ric Lansing wanted more... More out of his life, his career... more out of her. And that fact stunned him. When did Alexis Davis steal her way into his heart?  
  
"Ric?"  
  
Instantly recognizing her voice, his head came up quickly and glanced toward her direction. He couldn't meet her eyes; didn't want to take the risk of seeing the hate he knew he would see there. And why wouldn't she hate him after what he said! His eyes fell back to the lawn beneath his feet.  
  
"Not now, Alexis. Please. Just go. I don't want to get into anything again with you today."  
  
"Neither do I, Ric. But I have a question and you are the only person who can answer this particular question."  
  
Assuming her question was probably of a legal nature, he relaxed a bit.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"What did I ever do to you that would cause you to hate me so much?"  
  
The question staggered him. Hate. It was such an infinitely dangerous word; a word that held nothing but the darkest of emotions... It's power to cripple a vast understatement. Hate was what you were left with when you were incapable of finding hope in even the simplest of circumstances. When the life you were dealt suddenly becomes insufferable and threatens your very existence. Hate was what motivated him to get out of bed every morning. He felt her sit down beside him and he turned slightly away from her unwilling to allow her to see how much her question affected him.  
  
"Ric?"  
  
He remained silent knowing that she wanted some kind of answer from him. An answer that he just didn't have. This wasn't about hate. He didn't hate her. When he thought of Alexis, his thoughts became a mass of confusion, which left him vulnerable. And that's what he hated. He hated what being around her was doing to him. The ability to stay focused on the one goal that had remained constant throughout his life seemed to grow smaller every time he found himself close to her. And without his goal... what was he? Who was he, if not the forgotten brother born to destroy the man whose very existence taught him how to hate so many years ago?  
  
"I don't hate you, Alexis."  
  
"Then why do you treat me as though you do?"  
  
He didn't have a coherent answer for her so he changed the course of the conversation.  
  
"I wonder what the outcome would have been if we had met under different circumstances." Her sigh of exasperation stifled him.  
  
"I'm not sure what you mean, Ric."  
  
"Haven't you ever thought about it? You know. Just you and I without the baggage."  
  
"Things are what they are, Ric. All the speculation and curious wonder in the world will not change the way things are. They are what they are. And we're left to live with it the best way we can. And you still have not answered my question."  
  
He wasn't ready to answer her question. He didn't know how. His feelings for her were more than he knew how to handle much less explain. And that was a fact that Ric did not want Alexis privy to. It gave her power over him. There was just too much to risk. She was a risk.  
  
He deflected back to his question and continued to ignore hers. "So you're incapable of dealing in 'what ifs'?"  
  
"I'm saying it's a waste of time and energy. So am I to understand that you are not going to answer me given your continued deflection?"  
  
He lost his last remaining cache of patience. Leaping to his feet he turned on her, his face full of anger and doubt... and fear.  
  
"I don't have an answer, Alexis. There! I've said it. Are you satisfied? Does the fact that I don't have a clue how to answer you give you some sort of perverse pleasure?"  
  
Sweeping his arms wide he raised his head higher and turning around shouted aloud to everyone within hearing distance. _"May I have your attention please? I hereby admit to anyone who is interested that Alexis Davis, Attorney at Law, has bested District Attorney, Ric Lansing."_  
  
"Do you feel better now, Ric? Did that little display make you feel better?"  
  
Sitting back down he again leaned forward resting his head in his hands. His whispered 'No' sounded foreign to him. His throat was burning and his head was beginning to ache from the effort to restrain his emotions.  
  
"Go home, Alexis. Go home and leave me alone. I promise I won't get in your face ever again if you'll just leave right now."  
  
He was surprised when she didn't move; more surprised when he felt her hand fall to rest on his arm. The warmth of her touch crept slowly up his arm and he couldn't stop the heat that stole across his body. Nor could he control the warm blush that colored his face.  
  
"Talk to me, Ric. What's going on with you? There's something wrong and if you need someone to talk to... you can talk to me."  
  
Suddenly feeling a small movement under his hand he looked down and found that somehow without his knowledge his body had betrayed him and reached out to her. Her hand now lay still under his. He clumsily jerked his hand away from hers and felt the chill of loss fall around him cloaking him within its icy blanket leaving him to cope with a mountain of panic. He shuddered against it and pulled his coat tighter around him begging his mind to control the desire to reach for her again.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"I didn't mean to..."  
  
"What? Touch me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Am I that repulsive to you now, Ric? You didn't seem so repulsed on those few occasions that you kissed me. Why now? What has happened that you can no longer look at me with anything but revulsion?"  
  
Finally looking toward her he met her eyes. Maybe if he could just see how much she disliked him it would shake him free of her hold; he could get up and walk away... and not look back. But, the moment he met her eyes, he knew he was lost. He knew he wouldn't walk away... he couldn't... her power over him was perfect. He was completely possessed by her. And he welcomed it. She held him in the palm of her hand and he couldn't think of anywhere else he would rather be. He turned to fully face her and reached for her hand. This time he knew the very moment that his touch found her. An indescribable thrill filled him as nothing else could. Holding her hand gently in his own he caressed the inside of her wrist and then brought it up to place a soft kiss in the palm of her fragile hand. He was awed as he studied her hand wondering how such a small delicacy could hold him so captive? He looked back up and smiled into the eyes of this beautiful woman. This woman... this wonderfully complex and irritatingly stubborn woman; this woman who stole his heart and broke the curse that he had lived with all of his life! He didn't hate her; was not repulsed by her. He felt something so completely different. And suddenly in a moment of pure clarity he knew... he loved her. Ric Lansing loved Alexis Davis. Every feature of her exquisite face, every syllable that came from her mouth, every expression on her face... he loved her! In the midst of a life intent on retribution, on settling a score decades old... Ric found hope... he found the desire to open his heart and take a chance on love again. He found himself craving the chance to start his life over... with her. Thoughts of life with Alexis were filling every corner of his heart and mind with new dreams... new possibilities... new exciting adventures. He was finally free to love without reservation for the first time in his life. He reached up and softly touched her cheek suddenly wanting more than anything to see her smile. Maybe she would smile if he answered her question. Maybe she would smile if he told her his thoughts... Maybe she would reach for him if he told her... Maybe...Enlightenment

DA Lansing took a deep breath and released it slowly. Leaning back against the park bench he rested his arms along its back and let his head lay back. A host of clouds meandered across the sky shifting and crowding each other sociably; a masterpiece of exquisite scenic movement bereft of the chaos and uncertainty of the world below. 'If only people could live so unrestricted and affably.' He grinned wryly at the absurdity of his thoughts.

Watching a moment more his musings reluctantly shifted from the panorama before him and again settled on the woman who now occupied most of his waking thoughts. Leaving her only moments before at the courthouse, he was still trying to recover from their unusually tense and inflamed verbal exchange. Their disagreement began as usual, two attorneys simply arguing the merits of a case. And as was their way, it eventually became a barrage of personal insults thrown carelessly at each other oblivious to the damage they were causing. But this time when neither of them could get the upper hand in the exchange, the simple back and forth volley turned malicious. They attacked each other's most personal and intimate fears. And Ric could not hide from the fact that it was his fault that everything got out of hand.

She stood strong and defiant taking every insult that he threw at her. When she began to retaliate with precise measured accuracy, it angered him so much that he finally sank lower than he thought himself capable. He attacked her abilities as a single mother. Never would he forget the horrified look that fell on her face. Even now seeing it again in his mind, he felt nauseous... sick inside. Leaning forward he dropped his head into his hands and groaned at the agony that was piercing his soul. Something was happening to him. He was no longer finding enjoyment in baiting her. Now it was a matter of seeing just how far he could push her. Something in him couldn't stop pushing her... couldn't stop attacking her every time she came within shouting distance. And he suddenly realized he wanted to... desperately. Ric Lansing wanted more... More out of his life, his career... more out of her, which stunned him. When did Alexis Davis steal her way into his heart?

"Ric?"

Instantly recognizing her voice, his head came up quickly and glanced toward her direction. He couldn't meet her eyes; didn't want to take the risk of seeing the hate he knew he would see there. And why wouldn't she hate him after what he said! His eyes fell back to the lawn beneath his feet.

"Not now, Alexis. Please. Just go. I don't want to get into anything again with you today."

"Neither do I, Ric. But I have a question and you are the only person who can answer this particular question."

Assuming her question was probably of a legal nature, he relaxed a bit.

"What is it?"

"What did I ever do to you that would cause you to hate me so much?"

The question staggered him. Hate. It was such an infinitely dangerous word; a word that held nothing but the darkest of emotions... It's power to cripple in an instant an understatement. Hate was what you were left with when you were incapable of finding hope in even the simplest of circumstances. When the life you were dealt suddenly becomes insufferable and threatens your very existence. Hate was what motivated him to get out of bed every morning. He felt her sit down beside him and he turned slightly away from her unwilling to allow her to see how much her question affected him.

"Ric?"

He remained silent knowing that she wanted some kind of answer from him. An answer that he just didn't have. This wasn't about hate. He didn't hate her. When he thought of Alexis, his thoughts became a mass of confusion, which left him vulnerable. And that's what he hated. He hated what being around her was doing to him. The ability to stay focused on the one goal that had remained constant throughout his life seemed to grow smaller every time he found himself close to her. And without his goal... what was he? Who was he, if not the forgotten brother born to destroy the man whose very existence taught him how to hate so many years ago?

"I don't hate you, Alexis."

"Then why do you treat me as though you do?"

He didn't have a coherent answer for her so he changed the course of the conversation.

"I wonder what the outcome would have been if we had met under different circumstances." Her sigh of exasperation stifled him.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Ric."

"Haven't you ever thought about it? You know. Just you and I without the baggage."

"Things are what they are, Ric. All the speculation and curious wonder in the world will not change the way things are. They are what they are. And we're left to live with it the best way we can. And you still have not answered my question."

He wasn't ready to answer her question. He didn't know how. His feelings for her were more than he knew how to handle much less explain. And that was a fact that Ric did not want Alexis privy to. It gave her power over him. There was just too much to risk. She was a risk.

He deflected back to his question and continued to ignore hers. "So you're incapable of dealing in 'what ifs'?"

"I'm saying it's a waste of time and energy. So am I to understand that you are not going to answer me given your continued deflection?"

He lost his last remaining cache of patience. Leaping to his feet he turned on her, his face full of anger and doubt... and fear.

"I don't have an answer, Alexis. There! I've said it. Are you satisfied? Does the fact that I don't have a clue how to answer you give you some sort of perverse pleasure?"

Sweeping his arms wide he raised his head higher and turning around shouted aloud to everyone within hearing distance. [I]"May I have your attention please? I hereby admit to anyone who is interested that Alexis Davis, Attorney at Law, has bested District Attorney, Ric Lansing."[/I]

"Do you feel better now, Ric? Did that little display make you feel better?"

Sitting back down he again leaned forward resting his head in his hands. His whispered 'No' sounded foreign to him. His throat was burning and his head was beginning to ache from the effort to restrain his emotions.

"Go home, Alexis. Go home and leave me alone. I promise I won't get in your face ever again if you'll just leave right now."

He was surprised when she didn't move; more surprised when he felt her hand fall to rest on his arm. The warmth of her touch crept slowly up his arm and he couldn't stop the heat that stole across his body. Nor could he control the warm blush that colored his face.

"Talk to me, Ric. What's going on with you? There's something wrong and if you need someone to talk to... you can talk to me."

Suddenly feeling a small movement under his hand he looked down and found that somehow without his knowledge his body had betrayed him and reached out to her. Her hand now lay still under his. He clumsily jerked his hand away from hers and felt the chill of loss fall around him cloaking him within its icy blanket leaving him to cope with a mountain of panic. He shuddered against it and pulled his coat tighter around him begging his mind to control the desire to reach for her again.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I didn't mean to..."

"What? Touch me?"

"Yes."

"Am I that repulsive to you now, Ric? You didn't seem so repulsed on those few occasions that you kissed me. Why now? What has happened that you can no longer look at me with anything but revulsion?"

Finally looking toward her he met her eyes. Maybe if he could just see how much she disliked him it would shake him free of her hold; he could get up and walk away... and not look back. But, the moment he met her eyes, he knew he was lost. He knew he wouldn't walk away... he couldn't... her power over him was perfect. He was completely possessed by her. And he welcomed it. She held him in the palm of her hand and he couldn't think of anywhere else he would rather be. He turned to fully face her and reached for her hand. This time he knew the very moment that his touch found her. An indescribable thrill filled him as nothing else could. Holding her hand gently in his own he caressed the inside of her wrist and then brought it up to place a soft kiss in the palm of her fragile hand. He was awed as he studied her hand wondering how such a small delicacy could hold him so captive? He looked back up and smiled into the eyes of this beautiful woman. This woman... this wonderfully complex and irritatingly stubborn woman; this woman who stole his heart and broke the curse that he had lived with all of his life! He didn't hate her; was not repulsed by her. He felt something so completely different. And suddenly in a moment of pure clarity he knew... he loved her. Ric Lansing loved Alexis Davis. Every feature of her exquisite face, every syllable that came from her mouth, every expression on her face... he loved her! In the midst of a life intent on retribution, on settling a score decades old... Ric found hope... he found the desire to open his heart and take a chance on love again. He found himself craving the chance to start his life over... with her. Thoughts of life with Alexis were filling every corner of his heart and mind with new dreams... new possibilities... new exciting adventures. He was finally free to love without reservation for the first time in his life. He reached up and softly touched her cheek suddenly wanting more than anything to see her smile. Maybe she would smile if he answered her question. Maybe she would smile if he told her his thoughts... Maybe she would reach for him if he told her... Maybe...


End file.
